Monday, January 21, 2008

Cole's fine and part of my body is in a petri dish

For those of you who are wondering, there have been no pin worm sightings and the itchiness seems to have disappeared. Since Cole is only five the concept of pin worms is kind of cool and he was happy to tell everyone we were going to be checking for pin worms... luckily we were only around family members that day. We were finally able to convince him this was not a proper topic to openly discuss. He thought the whole tape test was cool and our need to go spelunking in the middle of the night was a cool thing.

So he's fine and I might have psoriasis. A very bad case of psoriasis....as in 8-10 millimeter raised, rough, red spots covering my entire body (but thankfully missing my face and hands), and now after two weeks, starting to itch incredibly. Originally diagnosed by a well-meaning but useless nurse practitioner as ringworm, and later as a staph infection by a bewildered clinic doctor, one before mentioned rosy spot is now somewhere, probably in a petri dish (since it is no longer attached to my body, and said body spot is no longer numb and beginning to hurt!) So, hopefully, after two weeks of not allowing any part of my body to see the sun, or other people-because they all wonder if I have and infectous disease-I may finally have an answer and treatment....yipee....(that was said with a complete lack of excitement-seeing as the dr's guess is psoriasis....)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Cole's Punch Line... timed perfectly

DISCLAIMER: this blog is slightly digusting but fully funny, read at your own risk.....


I was worried that Cole might possibly have pinworms. (For the rare few that don't know-these are small hair-thin worms that thrive within the dark realm of a humans behind-enough said). The only way to confirm this (and how we know they are thin little white worms) is to creep with stealth-like moves into the the region of our home termed "Cole's Room" in the deepest dark of night, armed with our own two hands and a trusty flashlight. Now, the before mentioned worms hide out all day and wait for the night's darkness before emerging to dance wildly like the pagans under the moon and then finish be laying eggs. So, at four o'clock in the morning, Trent and I sneak into Cole's Room. Imagine my delight at finding my child curled up on his side with his knees tucked into his chest-the best possible position for worm-seeking. Unfortunately, Trent touched Cole's ankles, which lead to him straightening and rolling onto his stomach,-a not ideal position for seeking as the buttocks of before mentioned child are completely closed... Now, anyone who knows me knows my hands are cold - always. Cold hands and boys buttocks don't mix. The result being the clenching of buttocks by child...now our worm-seeking is in peril....but just in case worms are stupid and immune to buttock clenching, Trent moves in for the buttock spread. No worms. Now, this is not the ideal way to spend the night time hours, but part of the duty of a parent. (Now, I have to jump ahead and tell you, Trent and I managed to escape, without waking Cole, before we burst a seam at what happened next, and may I add, I've never enjoyed four o'clock in the morning more.....just wait, you'll see what I mean....) After Cole's pajamas were back in place, he rolled over to his stomach, mumbled a little and still completely asleep says, "Whatcha lookin' at, Buddy Boy?"


The End (pun intended)!!!!!